My Drunken Regrets

 I really have a love and hate relationship with alcohol.

 I am a sucker for a bubblegin pitcher from Spoons and I love my rum (in all its forms - white, dark and spiced).  I also love the feeling of sipping my favourite Martini sparkling wine. Even more so now I am a parent, a gin and lemonade really takes the edge of the excess stress.

That being said my love for alcoholic beverage must always be balanced out with immense responsibility because I do a MAZZA if I am drunk. 

People like to defend their drunken selves as something so foreign but I present the notion that it is your repressed self in full force. 

The crimes and things I have done whilst intoxicated are sooooooooo outrageous. 

I've revealed parts of my psyche that I didn't even know existed. I have re-enacated repressed trauma on to others, I have used people, betrayed trust and so much more....

My desire to escape by means of  'driving the boat' only created more problems, which is ironic because I was drinking to not feel my depression. 

Whilst I hold many regrets about my drunken conduct, I am glad that they spotlighted the inner demons I have been suppressing. 

I still drink but I don't get drunk, because everything unprocessed manifests.


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