The Vigilant Butterfly

 I met this lady at the library and I asked her the question that we all dread to answer.  “What do you do for a living?” Her response to my query was absolutely heart-wrenching.  She said “I have a career in ill health”. Though sickness hasn’t plagued me much, the shame she exhibited reminded me of a person I knew who is also severely affected by their condition. It made me think that being able to have a career is really a privilege. One that can be grossly overlooked but also over-consumed. I mean there is a large emphasis on our ability to contribute to the world tangibly - notably through money or kindness to others. But what comes of you if your health is so diminished that you struggle to even love yourself. We don’t need more workers, we need more lovers. Make love your full-time job and be your own client.

  I wanna be held by your words,   Praised by adjectives, secured by your full stop. I want it to be just me and you dancing in definitive phrases and unconditional clauses. I hope that our love can be concrete like a noun, As seamless as a simile. If not I’ll continue to find refuge in my own words.

 Things are so complex that it’s common to resort to brash and comfortable conclusions. I feel as though I have been programmed to find safety and sustenance in the material world.  ‘You must find a full-time job’ lest you become or stay broke. It is undeniable, that money is important and that it indeed can make you feel satisfied. For me though, committing to full time work in a place where my values and individuality aren’t appreciated is just a no-go. Though I find myself endlessly applying to jobs when I don’t feel emotionally safe.  I’ve been living in fight or flight for the past couple of years and it’s ironic that the socially branded saviour of a corporate job is just not good for my well-being. But hey it’s what we are taught right? Sabotage your well-being for the material….