How your emotions can shape your future.

Emotions come in all shapes and forms. Whether that be happiness, anger, jealousy or ecstasy. As simple as they may seem, they act not only as indicators of one’s internal state but if given power can be a driver of one’s actions.


If one is happy they may exhibit a high, loud and vibrant pitch and flamboyant body language (of course this is not the case for everyone but it is the most easy example). It is rational to presume that a person acting in sincere happiness is able to do so as their thoughts are light and positive. This is called reflectionism (your words and behaviour reveal your inner climate). In contrast, an individual may be stuck in a cycle of inner conflict and thus forth speak pejoratively with a slouched stature and dull tone. Not only is this person communicating that they are suffering from great turmoil, they are negatively shaping their future through continuously reaffirming their emotions in deed and language. This can be attributed to determinism.


Of course, each and every emotion can provide a scope of value to our self-awareness and external processing, yet if our feelings aren’t efficiently managed we risk the deterioration of our holistic health individually and consequently socially. 


Last year, when I felt like my entire world collapsed (and it quite literally did) I was arguably the worst version of myself. I had experienced a breakdown in  core family relationships, had lost support from my prior religious community, I was grieving my grandad and so much more. All of these catastrophic events taken upon my shoulder resulted in me becoming one with my trauma. In other words, I wasn’t the master of my Dojo. Instead, I became a slave to my emotions and allowed them to project my hurt and insecurities onto people who sincerely loved me and wanted to help me recover from my strife. I remember during my first trimester being so immersed in depression and anxiety that I was frequently suicidal. I had married myself to feelings of shame,ridicule and resentment. The loudest voice in my mind was calling me to death. In my vulnerable state, I would break down every day, walk into graveyards, hibernate in the same room all because I had given power to my temporary emotions. I convinced myself that I had to feel my emotions until I could no longer feel them. I was wrong. 


Whilst, I believe that we should feel our emotions, I don’t think it's wise for us to build a refuge in them lest they devour us. Perhaps it is better to think considerably less about ourselves and shift more focus  on caring for others. This even goes for the more positive emotions like Joy. Joy is absolutely life-giving and amazing to feel but what does that mean if our neighbour is mourning their loved one. Should we continue to go about our own selfish ways and play ignorant to another’s suffering? For me the answer is no. The truth of the matter is that we will all continue to experience both chaos and order in our lives. Our emotions can be assimilated to the motion of waves ascending and descending, yet we can choose which ones to ride on. 


There are some seasons for us to mourn and some seasons for us to rejoice. This is the human experience. Let’s make a discipline of reflecting on the long-term fruit of our emotions overstaying their time.  I know some of our emotions are buried deep or dismissed by external voices but it is absolutely essential to give them some room. I only came to this place of better emotional management by attending therapy, learning more about the neurological effects of omy emotions,  uncomfortable conversations with figures of accountability and deep meditation. If these sound too pressuring for you to start off with journaling your emotions, you’ll be taken back by what you learn about yourself….

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